Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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