I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
