Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
