New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
