rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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