I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
