The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
