I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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