they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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