They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
