I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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