around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
