I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
