i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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