Yo dont text me then not text me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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