We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
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