Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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