found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
