grandma shit on top of the toilet
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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