So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
