Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
where are you?
Hypothermia
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
