in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
