It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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