Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
