Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
