I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think people are normalizing furries
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
