Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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