"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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