I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
This house was built for laser tag.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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