I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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