I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
