Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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