I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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