i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
