My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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