just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
