As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Someone came in the potted fern
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
