She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
