Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
zippers are such a cool invention
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
