my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
