OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
