ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
