all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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