i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
