Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
