Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
