1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
