God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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