I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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