Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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